One, which is what I addressed briefly, is whether EB & AP are accepted as normal choices for families to make. People have chimed in with opinions on both sides, and I’ve already stated where I stand.

The second is one that I’ve decided I need to speak on as well out of my concern for the feeling of my mommy friends and other readers. It’s the issue of whether practicing extended breastfeeding and other tennants of attachment parenting make for better moms.

The TIME cover reads, “Are You Mom Enough?” and depicts a mother nursing her older toddler.

Fanning the flames of the Mommy Wars (which I’m sure have been going on for as long as women have been insecure and competitive… so forever), the title and subtitle (which describes what is depicted as “extreme”) puts both “sides” on the defensive (“I’m not less of a mom!” and “I’m not extreme!”).

This idea that there is a way to do all the right things and be “Super Mom” rubs us all the wrong way – probably because we recognize that each of us falls short of that ideal. Yet we argue and treat each other poorly for the sake of defending the parenting choices we’ve made. 

Here’s the reality:

* For many of us, breastfeeding (even after infancy) is easier than the alternative(s). Convenience is one of the biggest benefits breastfeeding offers. I am not working harder (most days) to nurse (or co-sleep, or carry my babies in slings) than I would to formula feed or find another means of comforting my toddler.

* Many women can’t breastfeed, or have to stop before they’d like to, for reasons beyond their control. God has not abandoned these women to the “bad mom” camp.

* Plenty of other women may be *able* to choose to breastfeed (initially and past infancy), but don’t perceive it as a choice available to them due to lack of support or education. Perception is ofttimes reality.

* In any case (and there are obviously many more scenarios I could highlight), breastfeeding is not the only parenting decision that matters (nor is any other parenting decision on its own).

It’s a shame that this is the way TIME chose to celebrate Mother’s Day. The last things moms need is to feel inadequate! So, Happy Mother’s Day to all of my wonderful mommy friends whom I love despite (and often because of) our differences! I hope that today is a day of joy for you!

Other posts to check out:

Quotes from the Mom Walk – a post I wrote up recently that expounds on these thoughts.

Extended Breastfeeding Does Not Equal Extreme – Dionna (one of the models in the article) writes about the message the cover conveys for Huffington Post.

No, I Wasn’t Mom Enough – One moms trials with breastfeeding (I can’t IMAGINE working as hard as she did for her baby!)

We’re All Mom Enough – Hobo Mama critiques the slant the TIME article takes on AP.

From Breasts to Boobs and Back Again – a MAN chimes in. Disclaimer: I don’t know this guy from Adam and I’m not necessarily endorsing anything else he’s written. There’s also quite a bit of strong language (and humor) in this post, so be forewarned. I love that he so candidly works through the reasons many of us are uncomfortable with the idea of nursing – especially beyond infancy.

Cora nursing at 17 months

You may be completely out of the loop on this issue depending on who you follow on Facebook and which blogs you read, but I don’t think the conversation will end any time soon, so I’ll chime in.

Yesterday, the new issue of TIME magazine hit the newsstands with a photo of a mom breastfeeding her toddler on the cover. I haven’t read the article yet, just looked at lots of reviews and the inside photos.

A local mom (Dionna Ford), who was a wonderful help to me when I was pregnant with Aidan, was featured in the article including a GORGEOUS photo of her tandem nursing her two children. From what I hear, the article wasn’t especially complimentary toward extended breastfeeding, and lots of negative things have been said in response.

Not that I’m an authority for any reason other than experience, but here’s my official position: breastfeeding is normal, healthy, beautiful, and a gift from our Creator. Women have been nourishing their children this way from the beginning of human time, and there’s ample evidence that nursing well beyond infancy is a good thing and completely normal in the scope of history.

So there you go.

For the record, we helped Aidan wean on his THIRD birthday. Cora just asked to nurse this morning and I let her. The last time was about a month ago, and the time before that a month earlier. We’ve encouraged her to move away from nursing for baby Alex’s sake (since I struggle with nutritional deficiencies), and we feel good about that, but I wouldn’t bat an eye if I saw someone nursing a little one much older than her.

Here’s the article in the Kansas City Star about Dionna.

And another good article about extended breastfeeding from USA Today.

It’s not hard to find the photos from TIME if you want to see them. Google “Time Magazine Breastfeeding” and you’ll find all of the photos pretty quickly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1eBWZ0wzPc

Where I Land – JJ Heller

You’re different from the way I thought you’d be
But here you are in front of me
So full of light I watch it overflow
A lovely mystery

And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve

You have a way of stirring up my soul
Did you know
When you hold me in your arms the way you do
It feels like coming home

And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve
And when I cannot stand
You are where I land

And when the years have stolen youth away
I will stay
You will be the keeper of my heart
Until my final day

I recently posted about the prenatal vitamins I’ve been taking, and now I have the opportunity to tell you a bit about the vitamins we’ve chosen for the kids.

It’s been difficult to find a multivitamin that our young children can and will take that’s not essentially candy. Even most of the brands at the health food store are loaded with sugar and artificial colors/flavors! With our dental history, we’re especially uncomfortable with gummy and chewy vitamins that stick to tooth surfaces! We don’t need anything else to worry about!

We were excited to be given a box of AlternaVites Kids to review recently and we’ve ended up really enjoying them!

AlternaVites are pre-measured individual packages of a multi-vitamin powder – think of the pixie sticks we grew up on – that are, among other things, sugar free! Here are some of the things we like about them:

* They melt on the tongue, so they really aren’t as messy as I thought they’d be.
* No sugar, corn syrup, or artificial sweeteners (they contain mannitol and xylitol).
* They are also free of artificial coloring, flavoring, and preservatives.
* Carefully formulated to avoid major food allergens like wheat, dairy, egg, and soy.

Our kids really enjoyed them right out of the package, but for pickier children they can be mixed into yogurt or other food/drinks. They come in two flavors – Strawberry Bubble Gum and Raspberry Cotton Candy. We’ve only tried the former and, although I’m not really a bubble gum kinda girl, even I enjoy the flavor.

I should also note that the dosage is for children aged 4 and older. I choose to give Cora (who is 2) a half dose daily, but that it at my own discretion.

If you are interested in trying them out for yourself, you’re in luck! Right now you can get 20% off your order at alternavites.com with the code moms20.

To learn more about AlternaVites products, find them on the web at:

http://www.alternavites.com/
http://www.facebook.com/alternavites
http://twitter.com/alternavites

This warm weather has been just what I needed for motivation! Praise God! March and April were great months for FOCUS (my word of 2012) and accomplishing goals!

In January/February we made some good progress on our 2012 family and personal goals, but because of a lingering illness, Jan/Feb were kind of a blur. Here’s how March and April looked and what we’re looking forward to for next month:

Family Goals

Finances ~ The only flexible category in our budget is “food.” This means that whenever something unexpected comes up, we have to take it out of our food money (unless it’s something major enough that we deem it appropriate to break into our savings). This has meant that little outings here and there, a needed new pair of pants, etc all come out of the $500/month we have budgeted for food & household expenses. We didn’t make it in March (almost!), but in April we ended the month with $8 left in the budget!! WOHOO!!!

Also, I’ve been watching a little guy (the third kiddo in the photo on top) in our home a few days a week since August. His daddy graduates (congrats!) this month, so that gig will be ending. We debated finding something else for me to do to earn money, especially after I learned/realized that just about everything but breathing is taxable. We considered the ways I make money online and whether or not they are worth it for the burden of preparing taxes. In the end we decided that they aren’t. So, I’ve stopped pursing an income from blogging and other online activities.

We’ve decided that working toward my long term goal of publishing a book (more on that in the personal goals section momentarily) is a better use of my time.

To potentially make up some of the difference in income, I’ve decided to pursue a super-fun side-job and see where it takes me!

I have fallen in love with these hair accessories, and I LOVE the business philosophy and practices I’ve seen so far. I can’t wait to share more, including some hairstyle tutorials! In the meantime, please check out my online store and “like” my new Facebook page to stay up to date!

Lifestyle ~ I think we could best describe our other family goals by saying that we want to simplify and organize our life. We are working hard to rid ourselves of the things in our home that are unused or distracting. Our two biggest motivations for this are that we don’t want to be burdened by clutter, and we want to feel free to be hospitable to others by welcoming them into our home.

We’ve finally almost finished decorating the living room thanks to the blessing of some Amazon gift cards we received as a credit card rebate. We are just waiting on some photos from our time spent abroad in college to arrive from Shutterfly (thanks to credit from this post). I’ve made headway on the basement purging project, and have rearranged and organized the guest room in anticipation of some very special visits from family in the next few months! I have actually managed to keep up with the dishes these two months for the first time EVER! I think it is safe to say that I am in full nesting-mode. :)

I’ll be taking a free class at the library this weekend to learn about archiving all of our old photos so that we can clear up even more storage space. Rob will also be building some new shelves for the bathroom (like these: http://pinterest.com/pin/60094976247921381/) to keep our oft-used items out of reach of little hands.

Specific Goals for the Immediate Future:

* Utilize our new Azure Standards membership to save even more on food.
* Build my Lilla Rose business and recoup the (minimal) starting costs.
* Make bathroom shelves.
* Make baskets for Alex’s clothing.
* Finish organizing basement.
* Complete Cora’s First Year Scrapbook (I did purchase the prints this month!)

Personal Goals

Spiritual Goals ~ I’ve had so much freedom these last two months! Cora is officially on her own all night, and they are both down for a good two hours for naps! It’s still difficult for me to sit down and spend as much time as I should in the Bible since my brain is full to bursting with all kinds of things I should be doing, but I’ve found something that’s working really well for me for now. Thanks to my friend Cheryl, I discovered and have been receiving short daily devotions from Passport, Inc in my email inbox. They’ve been a great springboard on some days, and a wonderful way to quickly touch base on others. Check out d365.org to sign up.

I’ve also enjoyed receiving weekly emails for women from The Redemptive Pursuit.

Mothering ~ March was a lion of a month with my two littles. Aidan started biting, Cora (who turned two in March!) decided that she doesn’t like to be told what to do… at ALL. I’m very thankful for my husband and friends who listened sympathetically and helped me make a plan to maintain my sanity. I should probably write up posts just about these two issues – and I may yet. Thankfully, April was much much easier as I learned to take a step back and accept their little personalities as God-given. That helped me separate my personal preferences (like for an ahem… compliant child) from the issues that really needed to be addressed. (why so angry? so opposed to my guidance?) I’ve learned a lot this month, for sure!

And to tie spiritual growth in with mothering, I’m super-excited that we’ve established a routine family devotional time after breakfast! Every morning we read some, sing a couple of hymns/songs, and then pray. We all love it! In fact, we made it all the way through The Beginner’s Bible over the last two months! They LOVED the stories and illustrations and always begged me to read “just one more.” This month we’ve begun My ABC Bible Verses by Susan Hunt, and I know we’re going to love it just as much if not more. It’s more practical application and Scripture memory, but that’s perfect for Aidan right now!

The photo below is Aidan sneeking in some Bible time of his own – love the belly! :)

Health ~ My fatigue and cramping finally went away and I have been able to be much more active. We’ve done lots of walking around the zoo and working in the garden, and I’ve felt great overall!! Also, you may have seen that I had my second ultrasound and confirmed that I no longer have placenta previa!! I’m pretty sure that issue being resolved was directly related to the return of my energy and the cramps going away. I’m so thankful to be on track for an unmedicated vaginal delivery!

I’m taking ever more supplements (just started alfalfa and topical vitamin e) to gear up for birth this time around, and have continued to eat lots of nutritious food. I haven’t been as diligent about sugar, unfortunately, but not terrible either.

Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten off easy just yet – not that it’s been easy so far exactly! This week I’ve developed a fun new problem – vericose veins. NOT in my legs. I won’t embarrass myself with the details, but I will tell you that it’s no fun. :(

Writing ~ I’ve set a goal for having the proposal for my novel finished by August 1st. That means a complete outline and character profiles, plus the first three chapters written. It means that a lot of the research I want to do needs to be done by the time Alex is born, and I need to get writing. Right now, I’ve LOVED reading about writing and taking notes about everything I’m learning. I’ve been filling my journal full of ideas and snippits of text, and I’m so excited to have found this new hobby! I’ll not divulge anything about the plot of my story yet, but soon maybe!

I did end up writing for Social Moms like I said I would. Read my (short) article here.

Reading ~ I haven’t stuck to my list at ALL! It only has 20 books on it, so I may still get around to many of them, but I’ve only read three books in full over the last two months, and neither of them were part of my 2012 list!

If you are a Christian and you want to (or do) write, I HIGHLY recommend my latest read! The Making of a Christian Bestseller is not what I thought it would be at all. In fact, I picked it up from the library shelf just because it is bright ORANGE and I couldn’t imagine it being very good. I thought I’d be able to flip through it in a day and pick out some nuggets to move on with. Instead, I hung on every single word!! It’s a compilation of essays and interviews by and of successful Christian writers from every genre. There’s so much wisdom in this book! I took notes on everything from creating depth in my characters to how to choose ancillary products to market along with your book! Must read!

You can keep up with what I am reading and what I plan to read by becoming friends with me on Goodreads. :)

Specific Goals for the Immediate Future:

* READ! WRITE! REPEAT!
* Make a plan with my midwife for managing pain from vericose veins.
* Organize homeschooling stuff and pull a plan together before Alex arrives.
* Write a letter to Alex.
* Finish gifts for Alex and my expecting mommy friends before I get too busy!

So how are you doing on your goals??

If you’ve read this far and are still with me, I’ll reward you with a photo recap of these last months. You can view my Spring facebook album here (you don’t have to have an account to view). :)

Great news!

Our ultrasound this morning showed that I no longer have placenta previa at all!

The radiologist said that baby’s placenta is “nowhere near” my cervix. YAY!!

So, we’ll be able to move ahead with our plans to labor and welcome baby Alex at A Mother’s Love birth center. :)

In other baby news, everything else looks great, too! I’m healthy, baby looks healthy, and I’m measuring exactly where I should be. I have 10 weeks or so more to wait and for the first time out of three pregnancies, I’m ready to welcome this little guy whenever he comes!

Aidan and I had fun with a little photo shoot in the backyard today so that you can see how HUGE I am. *grin* Enjoy!

Heather at Mommypotamus has posted another fascinating series about dental health (she’s particularly interested in Early Childhood Caries), featuring an interview with Dr. Felix Liao.

Specifically relevant to us was his (Dr. Liao’s) interest in maternal health and how the time in-utero and breastfeeding shape the child’s jaw through epigenetics (how his DNA interacts with his environment). As well as the importance of using proper orthodontic techniques to expand the jaw if it is narrow. I have a narrow jaw and wore an expander for a couple of years.

He gives great ideas on how to identify and keep up with potential problems in our children before their adult teeth are in. AND in the Q&A section he explains how some of the things we’ve seen in my father in law (tooth grinding, mouth breathing, sleep apnea) can be prevented early on or even corrected as an adult through orthodontics.

Click through to the posts below to read more:

How Facial Structure Affects Your Child’s Health
Guiding Your Child’s Genetic Expression Through Holistic Orthodontics
Holistic Dentistry Q & A: Pacifiers, Teeth Grinding, & More

If you are new here and don’t know our dental health story, click here for a recap.

“No one will have exactly the same walk or journey. Our personality, skills, background, husband, financial status, theological underpinnings, children, health, place of birth and residence, relationships, stresses, and so on will be different than any other mom’s. We will each have a unique, individual path to walk. Yet how comforting it is to know that God has known all the details of our path and our days from before we were born…

…God didn’t clearly define every issue of family life or parenting in the Bible. Since I know that God is thorough and good and providential over each day of my life, I figured He hadn’t just forgotten to put all the rules in His word.

Instead… as He asked me to live my life by faith, based on the wisdom of Scripture and my relationship with Him, so He intended me to walk this journey of motherhood the same way… learning to walk each day by confidence and assurance with Him, resting in His promises, His dependable character, and in His provision.”

“We are not responsible to reach our children’s hearts, build godly character in their lives, get them to behave. The Holy Spirit is responsible.

Of course, we are God’s chosen instruments to model Christ’s character, to teach the truths of Scripture, to be God’s hands and voice in the lives of our children. Yet only He can work in their heart to give them the desire to respond to Him. We make pathways in their brains so that they will be familiar with His ways, but the Holy Spirit artistically conducts a symphony of words and images in the minds, dreams, and consciences of our children to bring them to the throne of God and to cause them to bow their knee.”

From The Mom Walk by Sally Clarkson

This year, I want to get him something that he’ll be able to enjoy all year, and for years to come, that will remind him what a good daddy he is.

He melts when he sees cute photos of our kids, so photo gifts are perfect.

For Christmas, I tried to print him an 8×10 of the family photo in our side bar. The photo quality was so atrocious that I couldn’t bear to frame it (I printed it at Walmart). I am definitely going to order the same print from Shutterfly to frame, but he already knows about that, so I’m looking for something different for Father’s Day.

Here are some of my ideas:

Photo Mug: My older sister got me a photo mug with a picture of Cora on it last year. Before that, I wasn’t sure how I felt about them and was afraid they’d feel dated right away, but oh my goodness how I still love seeing those chubby cheeks and chubby thighs when I pull that mug out! And Cora loves it too – she knows that it was her as a baby and always points it out.

Notepad: He’s always looking for paper to jot things down on! This would be a sweet surprise, I think.

Desk Organizer: I’ve asked him about this before and gotten a non-committal answer, but I think he’d really like it when he saw it. I know that if I worked in an office like he does, I’d think it was great!

Desk Calendar: Another potential desk accessory – and I love that we’d be able to use more than just a couple of photos!

Shutterfly has some more fun ideas (especially for moms day!) here.

I haven’t quite chosen between all of my options yet, but I can tell you one thing for sure; whatever I choose is going to have to have this adorable face on it:

 (photo taken by LD Photography)

Thanks to Shutterfly for sponsoring and compensating this post. I am never disappointed with the quality of their products!

Follow them for promotional deals, codes, and news:

·         Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shutterfly

·         Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/Shutterfly

·         Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/shutterfly/

27 Weeks with Alex

During my first pregnancy I felt young and healthy, knew I was making good lifestyle choices, and didn’t feel that the extra expense of a fancy prenatal vitamin was worth it. I took folic acid prior to conception and for the first half of the pregnancy. I took prenatals every once in a while when I got a sample or a bottle was on sale for super-cheap.

With the benefit of hindsight, I went into my second pregnancy a bit more intentionally. I’d had a difficult time recovering from my long labor with Aidan. I worried that I might be a bit anemic. So, I decided to take a generic over the counter prenatal the whole pregnancy with Cora, and supplemented with liquid iron near the end.

Cora’s birth went a lot smoother (and quicker – 15 hours compared to 41!!), and I recovered well. Unfortunately, before her first birthday she began having issues with dental decay. At this point we suspect that a number of factors contributed to our troubles, including the possibility of inadequate nutrition/nutrient absorption during pregnancy. If you’re unfamiliar with our family, let me assure you – I eat plenty and I eat WELL!

SO… with the sad realization that perhaps my body just isn’t pulling its weight without assistance, I decided to throw everything I could at it before conceiving Alex.

I increased my dairy intake (calcium plays a big role in tooth enamel development, as does vitamin D), subsequently gained 5lbs in two weeks (I needed the padding, right?), and started taking a whole food prenatal. 

I’ve really always felt that we should get all of our necessary nutrients from FOOD rather than pharmaceuticals. It doesn’t make sense to me that we wouldn’t get all that we need from our diet.

There are lots of theories as to why our bodies don’t get or absorb all that we need. These range from depleted nutrients in the foods we eat (due to factory farming and neglectful animal care practices), to a lack of digestive enzymes and poor gut flora (due to over-ingestion of antibiotics and the like), to improper preparation of foods like grains and nuts (which contain phytic acid that may block absorption).

It’s disappointing to need supplementation at all, but I feel MUCH better knowing that the supplements I’m taking actually ARE food, rather than a chemical replica of nutrients cooked up in a lab!

The folks at New Chapter contacted me and were very kind to send me Perfect Prenatal vitamins, WholeMega Fish Oil, and Zyflamend Whole Body to review.

New Chapter has been in business for nearly 30 years and seeks to utilize whole food in its pure, unadulterated form to deliver what they call “The Wisdom of Nature” to those seeking natural wellness. They are also committed to sustainable farming and manufacturing processes like organic and biodynamic agriculture, composting, and recycling.

In addition, New Chapter is a participant in the Non-GMO Project’s Product Verification Program, something that I’m especially excited about.

A little bit about their prenatals (from their promo matierials):

Perfect Prenatal whole-food complexed multi-vitamin, including targeted levels of whole-food folate, is formulated specifically to nourish mother and baby.

Cultured and safe for pregnancy herbal blend combines whole foods and Class 1 herbs with live probiotics to support a healthy pregnancy.

A blend of broccoli, kale, and other cruciferous sprouts supports healthy estrogen metabolism and breast health.*

Once-per-meal formula is easy-to-take, easy-to-digest, and can be taken anytime – even on an empty stomach!

I appreciate that there are no artifical colors or flavors, that I recognize every ingredient on the label, and that they are gluten free!

I didn’t have any trouble with nausea from taking them, or any aftertaste, etc.

While I’m not super confident that any multi-vitamin is a miracle worker, I do value the quality of these vitamins compared to others!

And now a few details about their fish oil supplements:

New Chapter’s Wholemega Whole Fish Oil supplement offers a whole-food approach to fish oil supplements. It’s a naturally pure 100% wild-caught Alaskan salmon oil that delivers the whole, natural omegas, antioxidants and vitamins found in wild Alaskan salmon – the good stuff “purified” fish oils can reduce with chemical processing.

Wholemega’s naturally pure, 100% wild-caught Alaskan salmon oil is sourced from clean, pristine Alaskan waters – among the world’s cleanest and purest. Like extra virgin olive oil, Wholemega’s wild-caught, naturally pure Alaskan salmon is pressed immediately after harvest.

I was very excited to try these. Rob and I used to take fish oil by the handful and order it in bulk. I really felt like it helped me function and made me feel healthier overall. We then learned about some of the controversy surrounding fish oils and were saddened that we couldn’t afford quality oils from sources we trust.

Wild caught salmon sounds about as good as it gets, and I like what they have to say about their processing methods. We definitely need all the vitamin D we can get!

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I haven’t gotten all the way through the bottle they sent me. Of all the fish oil brands I’ve tried, this one has the strongest “fishy” aftertaste and I have fish-burps for hours every time I take one. :(

I may just be extra-sensitive because of pregnancy. I do try and remember to take it at night so that those side effects aren’t as bothersome.

We also unexpectedly received a bottle of Zyflamend Whole Body. The Zyflamend line is intended to help maintain a healthy inflammation response in the body. Here’s more from the website:

Inflammation is a natural process that affects every cell and organ in the body. Zyflamend promotes a healthy inflammation response that helps support joint health and many other body benefits.* Zyflamend has been studied at leading research institutions and has been shown to benefit multiple areas of health including joint health, skin health, bone health, and normal tissue growth.*

The line includes Zyflamend Whole Body, Heart, Breast, and Prostate.

Each delivers powerful antioxdants from herbs and spices that have been trusted across cultures and generations.

Rob tried these out for me since he works out nearly every day and is especially interested in joint and bone health. While he couldn’t see any immediate tangible benefits, he said they were easy to digest and he didn’t notice any negative side-effects or discomforts.

Overall, we feel good about using this brand of supplements and are confident that they are contributing to our overall health. Thanks again to New Chapter for the products to review!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.